"Are you sure you want to do this, Scully?"
"No turning back now, Mulder."
If it had been six years ago, I would have believed Mulder was completely
paranoid and completely nuts about me having this baby as soon as possible. Of course, it wasnt six years ago and I wanted to go back to my apartment.
I also wanted to be able to get out of a sitting position without any difficulty.
The moment I had calmed down about my pregnancy, I had read every piece of
literature ever written on the subject. One interesting piece of text was one Id heard
about but never truly looked into. It was the natural ways to induce labor. I had
thought they were a load of crap.
And nine hours later, Ive decided that while they may work for some women, they
did _crap_ for me. All I gained was embarrassment and comments from the peanut galley of Fox Mulder.
So, now here I was, sitting up against about five pillows, in the room Mulder and I
were staying in. I had a fetal monitor up, an IV in, and an angry OB, against a Pitocin-
induced labor for no medical reason.
I then learned just how persuasive Mulders seeming paranoid mind can be when it
comes to crisis. Mark was still against it, but seems to be looking over his shoulder every five minutes.
As if someone would come into plain site.
What am I saying? Do I think someone is going to take this baby from me?
Whoah, I better not answer that one.
I wasnt all together happy about the prospect of inducing labor, myself. I had
wanted to have this baby the natural way. Id go into labor, Mulder would freak out,
wed go to the hospital and hours later (I wasnt even thinking about labor pains) wed
have a little baby.
What was I high on when I thought that concept up?
I was most definitely not looking forward to labor at this point. Despite the fact
that Pitocin can take hours to work (or not even work at all - I am not going to think
about that situation), the contractions are more rapid on onset (quoting a textbook there, Dana?) and can be more intense. Not to mention the greater chance of needing a C-Section.
I was most definitely _not_ going to think about that.
Yes, right now I am going to think about the end result - a little baby, soft and
sweet. And I dont even care if its a boy or girl.
Okay, maybe I care a little.
11 hours later.
Okay, now I definitely dont care if its a boy or a girl.
I just want it _out_.
Since I was having this labor induced I had decided that I wouldnt use any drugs,
hence make this birth somewhat natural.
Once again, _what_ was I thinking??
Its wasnt so bad at first. Then one contraction hit and well, without an x-ray, no
one can prove I broken Mulders hand. Surprisingly, though, hes still here, coaching me, nursing an ice pack over very swollen knuckles.
Yet, I still want to use every curse word known to man. Ironic world, huh?
The contractions are getting closer together and I cant wait for this whole thing to
be over. I suddenly have this urge to call for my mother (who, by the way, is going to be
_pissed_ when she finds out I had this baby without her presence nearby) and have her
kiss it better.
"Is it too late to say that Ive changed my mind?" Shit, did I just say that sentence
I hear Mark. "I think so, Dana."
I did say it out loud. Score one for weakness, Dana.
"Are you sure you dont want anything? Pretty soon youll be at the point of no
return. Its just full speed ahead from there, Dana."
"I know." Breathe. Think back to the Lamaze classes. I get a mental picture of
Mulders shock at the childbirth video we had to watch. Geez, after everything weve
seen, I would have never guessed childbirth would make Mulder jumpy. "And no." I look
at Mulder, who is trying to hide the pain from his hand from me. He smiles.
"Hey, just hold out a little longer. Youre doing great."
His words, though sincere, dont mean a crock of shit to me at this moment.
"Easy for you to say."
I should be more compassionate, perhaps, as I think back an hour to Mulder
declining painkillers himself, but hell, Im in labor. And it hurts.
I had asked my mother about the actual labor. She was in labor for 36 hours with
Bill, and by the time she got to Charlie she was down to an 8 hour labor. Well, 8 hours
passed for me, and I am praying its not going to be 36.
Another contraction hits me, and I look for something to grab onto. I closed my
eyes, and was ready to gab air when I feel a familiar hand latch onto mine. I open my eyes and was surprised to see Mulders good hand holding onto mine.
I was never more in love with him as at this moment.
The contraction eased and his eyes look into mine.
"What?" Im sweaty, unattractive, in pain, and not the most happy camper at this
"What?" I stare at him for a couple of minutes. "Mulder, I -"
Of course, another contraction interrupts me. I hear Mulders voice through it,
though and as the pain eases once again, I try to think about what hes just asked me.
Mulder asked me to marry him.
What am I going to say?
Hes still looking at me, and I know he wants an answer. Then before the next
contraction hits, I smile at him.
"If I get to pick the name."
"No way!" he murmurs and goes to kiss me.
A contraction interrupts him, however, and its more intense this time.
"Beth is the perfect, name, Scully."
"So . . ." Breathe. "sure . . . its . . . going . . . to . . . be . . . a girl?" After all this,
it better be a girl.
"I have a theory on this, Scully. The Gunmen are running 2 - to - 1 odds on it."
"Dont make me laugh, Mulder."
"Im not." I can picture the pout as I close my eyes against another contraction.
They are coming closer.
Hopefully it wont be much longer.
17 hours into labor.
Not much longer, my _ass._
Mulders words stopping being comforting and staring becoming annoying about
four hours ago. That was when, Mark had told me "looking great, the way youre
dilating, it shouldnt be much longer."
Then my dilation slowed.
Now its stopped and has been that way for the last hour.
My medical mind is worried. The baby is going nowhere. Im not dilated enough
for this baby to be delivered. I cant have a C-section in the middle of a cabin - this is not a hospital.
I am getting scared.
After another exam, I could see Mark getting worried.
Great, just what I need. The OB freaking.
"Its just 2 more centimeters, Mark. Give it a little time. Maybe the baby will
drop." Another contraction hit and I wanted to push.
"You cant push. According to the sonogram, the babys head is never going to fit
even if he or she dropped. Theres no choice but C-Section."
Shit. I glance out the window. The slightly overcast September sky has turned
dark, as if predicting the turn of events. Mulder has turned to talk to the doctor himself,
asking questions like how the hell are we going to do this and I think back to why were
having this baby now in the first place.
What if they catch up? I still am unsure about who they is. As I look at the
stormy sky, it seems like a trail of smoke has inhabited the clouds, turning their usual
white gray. Smoke . . .
Another contraction comes. This baby wants out and its not going to happen the
I want my mommy.
I glance back out at the sky. I need everything to be okay.
I need Beth to be okay.
Did I just say Beth? Mulders name has attached itself to my brain. But hell if
Ill name a little boy Andrew.
I hear rain start to fall against the window panes.
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