TITLE: "The Joys of Fatherhood"
AUTHOR: Jen
EMAIL: JenR13@aol.com
RATING: PG.
SPOILERS: None. A companion piece to "Meant to Be?"
CLASSIFICATION: VH
KEYWORDS: Mulder/Scully romance, babyfic, Alternate Universe.
ARCHIVE: Go ahead and do it with my blessing.
SUMMARY: Mulder tackles a new task that comes with fatherhood.

DISCLAIMER: Mine? As if.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is a short little piece that came into my head after hearing a story of
my own father shortly after I was born (being the first child of four). It is a companion piece to
my recently finished "Meant to Be?" However, you do not need to read that story to enjoy this
story.

"The Joys of Fatherhood"
By Jen

I never thought it would that hard.

It has two pieces of tape that just stick and then . . . poof! the job is done.

Then why does it look lopsided?

Oh well, let's try this again.

And again.

A giggle comes from behind me.

"Scully, I swear if I didn't know better I'd think I was being laughed at."

She just raises her eyebrows at me.

Show-off. Just cause she's mastered the diapering thing. I'm telling you, it is not as
easy as it looks.

Another diaper gets discarded.

Okay, so perhaps I won't be father of the year. I thought I had every part of this father
thing down. I Just hadn't remembered about diaper. And how I was never able to get them
onto babies. Beth just kicks her little legs in the air, oblivious to the fact that she is wearing
nothing much then baby power.

At least she won't be scarred for life for this experience. Her father, however, may be.

I remember when my mother brought Sam home from the hospital. I was four and
thought the most disgusting thing in the world was the fact that she needed her diaper changed.
When she was about 9 months old, my mom had gotten up to answer the phone, and Sam
began to wail.

The 'I'm wet and I won't shut up until I'm not' cry.

It hurt my poor four-and-half year old ears.

That's when I first tried to change a diaper.

Needless to say after staining my mom's expensive white carpet (why do you have
white carpeting with kids anyway, I'll never understand), and unsuccessfully keeping a diaper on
my sister, I vowed to give up forever on attempting that feat once again.

Yet, here I am.

Beth just gurgles. Geez, she's still just a newborn. I have another year of diapering to
go through at least before we even _think_ about potty-training her.

I've just decided that I will set the world record for the youngest toilet-trained child.

"It's not that hard, Mulder."

I glare at her. Scully, you are definitely not helping. Especially when I can tell you are
trying so hard not to burst out laughing. I have a feeling that Maggie Scully will be getting a kick
out of this story in, oh an hour or so.

I can do this. I reach for another diaper and realize that after this I am going to have to
go and buy more diapers.

Beth seems to be getting a little antsy.

I _can_ do this.

"Need help?"

After you laughed at me, Scully? Not a chance in hell.

"No."

"Okay, then."

Great, now she's settling down for the duration. She's turned the TV on, but I know
she's watching.

Lift the baby gently. Place diaper underneath baby, then just pull and secure tabs and -

Damnit!

Beth gurgles again. I have a feeling she's be laughing at her daddy right now if she
could. I'm sure she will when this story gets told by her mother. To several people. On several
occasions.

Frohike can diaper the baby for God's sake. I've seen him do it. He makes it seem so
easy. What am I missing?

Okay, pull the two sticky things out and just secure and -

It's on! It's actually on!

I lift Beth to make sure it's not just a fantasy. Yes, the baby is diapered! I can make
father of the year after all.

"Ah, Mulder?"

"What?" She should be proud of me, I did it!

"Turn Beth around."

It's then I realize I have put the diaper on backwards.

Good-bye father of the year.

Maybe Frohike can give me diapering lessons.

She's most definitely laughing now. I look down at Beth.

I am never living this one down.

"The End."

Feedback appreciated at JenR13@aol.com.